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this is only the beginning-

2019. A year that could aswell have been two. A lot changed. I changed. I look the same but feel different. While the first half of the year was mainly me sitting at my desk and studying the second half was a great collection of let's-get-out-of-my-comfort-zone moments. 

And while I am counting down the last hours of this decade now, it's time for my annual recap.
Let's start right at the beginning. Shall we?


I spent the first two months of the year, studying, watching sunsets and looking forward to it getting light at 6am again. I worked really hard on my photography and produced a lot of content for the months to come since I knew I wouldn't have the time anymore.

Just before the final exams, I went on a school trip to Aachen and Cologne, where we visited many art exhibitions and went vintage shopping.
May came and all I did 24/7 was studying. And I made it, I graduated. It may took me a few sleepless nights, but at the end of the day, I am unbelievably proud of myself and everybody else who graduated.

After Prom at the beginning of July, where I was kindly accompanied by my good friend Claudia, I travelled to the South of France with the best people, did a road trip to the coast and had time to do absolutely nothing.

In August, I then decided to launch a portfolio website for my photography. I spent every free minute I had either coming up with the perfect concept or designing the website, so if you haven't visited www.shanamauricio.com, I invite you to have a look.  > here <

In the early days of September, I escaped to the Belgian coast to enjoy the last few sun rays of the season before coming back and getting fully involved in creating a portfolio and deciding which art degree I want to study. And so that's the point where it gets trickier, I didn't know what I wanted to study and still don't know. I felt extremely overwhelmed and stressed and in that chaos, I very spontaneously applied for an creative business internship.

So, with me turning 20, my life slowly but surely changed. I started working, got to know many new people, organised events and started seeing the world with different eyes. In the meantime, I also got back into blogging and did some freelance jobs as a graphic designer and photographer.

I feel like these last few weeks made me realise that I don't need to have everything figured out, that listening to myself and deciding to go to university later was the best decision I could have made.

And since this also marks the end of a decade, I thought it would be nice to share a picture from 2009 with you. I have been through a lot since that photo, not only my teenage years but also many different experiences shaped the way I see things and the person I am today. I went though many good times and sad times. I made friends and lost friends. I felt happy and lonely. I started high school and graduated. I discovered my passion for photography. And so much more. But, ultimately I grateful for it all and feel like I am more me now than ever before. I am exited for what's about to come.

Just like I felt ready to enter my twenties two months ago, I am so ready for this new decade.

2020 - Let's do this!


Any resolutions for 2020?

One of my resolutions for 2020 is to start waking up earlier again. I love the the early morning hours when the sun is rising and it feels like I am the only one awake. But still, I've been dealing with a lot of insomnia lately and love to stay up late, so I guess, we will see how this goes.

Another point on my list is to keep going out of my comfort zone more often. These last 3 months since I decided to wait a few months until I'll go to university, gave me so much more than I could ever have expected.

Last but not least, I wish I would learn how to worry less. I am a very anxious person and tend to let fear define my life but I am determined to get a hold on that too.


2 0 1 9  in 9 Questions & Answers:

1. Greatest achievement?
    Probably graduation.

2. Most emotional moment?
    A very specific night on a balcony in France.

3. Most played song in 2019?
    According to Spotify: Better - Lena ft. Nico Santos

4. 2019 in one word?

5. Favourite holiday?
    South France with the best people. Video > here <

6. Obsessed with something?
    Self care. No matter how busy you are, always remember to take some time for yourself!
7. Learned something?
    It doesn't matters if we make plans or not, because life happens and everything changes anyway.
    Article > here

8. Best feeling?
    Feeling loved.

9. The hardest thing you went through this year?
    Not knowing what's next and dealing with a lot of panic and stress.


12 Months - 12 Feelings

January: Sometimes I don't know how to describe my feelings with words.

February: A pretty huge mess.

March: Welcome to my pity party, Let's celebrate together. Take a seat.

April: Forever turning ideas into reality.

May: Things change all the time.

June: It's happening, we're graduating.

July: To new beginnings.

August: And I've always wondered if I could hold on to a moment, not forever, maybe just a little longer.

September: Laughter, music and happiness.

October: If we don't remember it's kinda like it never happened?

November: Life has the funny habit of making me feel lost lately.

December: This is only the beginning, 


3 favourite articles:

"I always loved to consider my blog as an open diary for me and the world. A place I and other people can come back to and get lost in my words and images. And after all these years, this is still my little space of the internet and I wanna document moments, share happiness and get creative again." 


"For you, I hope that this February 14th, you realise that, you're worthy of love. We all are. I hope you understand that you will always be enough, regardless of the day or month."


"The other day at the bus stop, I was 10 minutes early. While waiting a song came up on my Spotify, one I hadn't heard in about 2 years. Tears started running down my face, my energy completely vanished. Not because of the song but because of the connections I made in my head. I paused the song. All I could hear were cars rushing down and soft mumbling. My mind drifted apart. I stood there surrounded by unknown faces, faces of people I forgot in a blink of an eye. I realised that I am not that little insecure girl anymore. And it feels good, unless you think to much about it ..."


8 favourite songs:

Better Me - Olllie

Doin' Time - Lana Del Rey

I Got You - Honne, Nana Rogues

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

New Morning - Monolink, Acid Pauli

Monsoon - Amber Mark, Mia Mark

Doom Days - Bastille

Dark Side - Bishop Brigges


And finally, I wanna thank you all for sticking around, supporting me and for loving what I do. I really hope you had a wonderful year and wish you only the best for 2020. Happy New Year to you!

Lots of love, S.

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