2020/04/26

how I am handling isolation



Life can feel very challenging right now, with all this uncertainty surrounding us, the news updating the newest numbers nearly every hour and the world being in such a different state than it was just a few months ago. How are you holding up?

Personally, I've been through an impressive number of ups and downs these past few weeks, from calm to anxious, I've felt it all. Even though my daily life didn't change that much, I've been struggling a lot more. I find myself writing a lot but at the same time publishing less because it doesn't feel right to just produce content when everything around us feels just so heavy. At least for me. But then once again, if my content could give you just a few minutes of peacefulness, it would be worth it.

With so much we can't control, the main reason why I feel overwhelmed is the fact that I need to make some decisions concerning my academic future but I find it very difficult to handle when everything is so uncertain. Since it's not possible to pursue a higher education in the artistic field in Luxembourg, choosing a degree for me also means that I will move countries, live in a new city and basically start anew. Which is both very scary and exciting but it just feels super strange to take important decisions when I can only virtually visit schools, I don't know when the boarders will open again and the word is in a state of emergency. But it's okay, this is only temporary and I am hoping to get my mind calmed down, so I'll be able to approach this differently.

Before I continue to ramble on about life for another 10 minutes or start to celebrate my own pity party, I wanted to share some of the ways that I've been trying to prioritise my mental health and keep my mind away from the news for a while aka a collection of things I've done in the last 6 weeks that made me feel better in any way.

I always find it hard to relax which means that I have to set myself the intention to do nothing. Starting with my morning routine, I've tried to catch some sun on the balcony while reading a book and to listen to nature daily, which at this point has become my favourite morning activity. I've also done some yoga and tried to do some self care, which is so cliché but honestly it helps, it really does.

At the same time, I've also been trying to distract myself with a great number of random things, just to name a few: read an unbelievable amount of love stories and books in general, spend hours going through my instagram story archive, stay in contact with my friends and family via facetime and direct message, play card games with my family, listen to music, google the most random things, sort out old school notes and books and throw them down the stairs, go through old pictures, create different Pinterest playlists for everything and nothing, take self portraits and paint again.

One new thing I've incorporated into my routine is journalling. While I've been using my bullet journal for a good few years now, I never ever considered getting myself a journal. As a kid, I used to write about my holidays or birthdays, but never to help me process things or calm my mind. I usually use the notes app on my phone as a kind of brain dumb for everything that goes on in my head, words and lyrics. And I've always considered this blog as my online diary type of thing, but let's face it, it's not the same. So I got myself a journal and honestly, I am loving it. It feels so good to just let it all out and especially in times like these, I find it quite calming. I would highly recommend giving it a go if you haven't already.

As someone who likes to make plans and loves all things organisation related, the current situation has made me come up with different ways to use my bullet journal. I incorporated a daily timetable going from 9 to 5 to help me get things done and keep ahead of everything. By writing down my plans for the day and all my different ideas, I find myself procrastinating a lot less and instead working towards what I wanna achieve.

But don't be fooled, two days of me really having my life together are generally followed by a good day of doing nothing or me being wide awake and listening to music at hours I should long before have gone to bed.

To sum it all up, it's all a bit messy in my head right now. I am overthinking way to much and therefore end up worrying. But I am trying my best to not let it consume me. I'm doing good though, it's just the little moments in between that get me a little emotional.

I really hope you're all doing good and wish you only the best!
Love, S.

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* Please note that this is a very personal insight into my life in quarantine and my struggles, not a piece of information but a blogpost written by someone who's very privileged to live in a country that has been handling the virus very well so far and has no one in her close circle that is currently affected. Your point of view on this may be very different and that's okay. But just know that we're all in this together and that everyone is handling the situation differently.

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